Mother's Day is this weekend.
Wait, wait - before you rush out to Hallmark for the card you forgot to get your mom, or race to see if ANY restaurant has brunch reservations available, check out this helpful list from your friends at Movie Outsiders. If you were thinking you could sneak by with a "Mom's night off" coupon good for a frozen pizza and a movie night - be sure to read through this list of films to avoid. Do not, under any circumstances, choose one of these to enjoy with Mom on her special day (or ever, really).
Fifty Shades of Grey
Mom may have even heard of this one! Didn't her book club discuss this book a few years ago? Yes. Yes they did. And you would have died had you been in on the discussion. Bondage. Domination. Dakota Johnson "in the flesh." Probably not a great pick to enjoy with Dear Old Mom.
The Wolf of Wall Street
Seems OK, right? Directed by Scorsese, nominated for a bunch of Oscars, starring that hunk Leonardo DiCaprio - should be right up Mom's alley, right? Wrong. More swear words than non-swear words, a fully-nude Margot Robbie, more drugs than Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas - oh, and an ORGY on a plane.
More than one prosthetic penis being waved and waggled, awkward skinny-dipping nudity, and a scene where one woman takes another to a massage parlor so she can watch the first woman give a hand job to a total stranger through a peephole. All while children are sleeping upstairs. Not best choice.
Eyes Wide Shut
Oh, Mom's a bit of a cinephile but never caught Kubrick's swan song? Best leave it that way. Seeing Nicole Kidman on the toilet or the strange, organ-music-scored orgy, or Tom Cruise examining a woman's breasts is not optimal with Mom to your left or right.
Not terrifically graphic but absolutely out of comfortable bounds to be watching with your mother. If you look over and see her getting into it things will never be the same for you. Never.
So, the odds of popping this one in with your mother are hopefully low. Keep it that way. Unless you need to revisit any painful and awkward childhood memories about your teenage years and how you spent much of your time. No thanks. Pass.
There are dozens and dozens of other movies that should be avoided with Mom. Such as:
- Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan
- There's Something About Mary
- Basic Instinct
Do yourself a favor and suffer through My Big Fat Greek Wedding one more time, ok?